Film Summary CLXII (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider)




So we have a woman with lips that are too big for her mouth spending a lot of time watching Indiana Jones movies and thinking to herself ''oh I bet I could do that''

But you forgot one crucial element 'Indiana Jones didn't fight CGI monsters' at least in the first three films, I can't remember what he did in that fourth one, nor do I care to remember. He also wasn't Batman with a butler or a magic computer guy. Although he did have a blatant disregard for other people's feelings and he was a bit of a smarmy prick so I guess she got that part right.

We have a Hercules plot in this movie all the planets have to align for some sort of magic bullshit to happen. None of that matters we have to look at what Laura Croft's wearing today, for she has the fashion of the future. Is there anything more dated and awful than the late 90s early 2000 fashion?
Daniel Craig pops up from time to time in this movie The Man Who will become the future James Bond and have a much better career. He has silly looking eyes in this movie one of them is green the other ones blue doesn't look very good on him.

You know what's the point of having guns if no one's going to die, the entire movie might as well just be police batons and your fists, at least then it makes a bit more sense. Really the only decent part of this film is the little House rating scene that has a few interesting things in it. But otherwise it's not worth anyone's time, especially about halfway through, then there's way too much CGI it starts looking like that Scorpion King movie.

I regret watching this movie I could have been watching M*A*S*H!

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