Film Summary CXCVIII (Alone In The Dark 2)



Okay kids get your camcorder and boot up your crappy computer it's time to make a sequel to a shitty Uwe Boll movie.

Why Lance Henderson! Why do I keep finding you in all these movies? I just talked about you in a crappy Alien vs. predator movie. I hope you got a good paycheck from this movie cuz you're too good for this crap, your the only character that isn't wood.
So there's an evil witch that's hunting a bunch of weird losers for some reason. I don't know the reason for the story, I didn't really pay attention to the first movie which I don't believe had anything to do with witches. Apparently it's based off some crap video game?
So there's this guy that's the head of the house everybody's living in. I'm pretty sure he's from that crappy 'birdemic' movie he cannot act to save his own life. He's like a slab of concrete with a fake goatee.

Apparently the witch response to movement, I didn't know she was a T-Rex.
The little dagger has a tiny little heart inside of it. That's hilarious why would a dagger have a heart? If this gets associated with Disney I'm turning it off.
Is it possible for Lance Henderson to go one movie without being stabbed, shot, ripped in half or injured?
He also tells a fully grown man to shove a woman's head into a bucket of water and not let her out until she's dead weight.

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