let's start with the positives:
Pigeons. The film opens on a group of pigeons. I enjoy pigeons, they're a lovely little bird. And it reminds me of a far better movie ''Love and Pigeons''
I also like the look of Gotham City. It actually looks like a comic book city as opposed to The Dark Knight films where it's just New York or Chicago. At least in the second and third film. The first one kind of look like Gotham.
The negatives:
Bad CGI. Everything in this movie looks so disjointed. As in the characters and the environments don't mix very well. Part of this might be because of the colour correcting that happened during a reshoot. But it just makes the whole thing look oddly cartoony. Similar to those Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe novels that were turned into films some 10 years back. They too had a very cartoony look to them. But I always thought that was part of their aesthetic. They look like they were in a fairytale world, just like that Modern Fairytale movie with Oprah in it. That too had a whimsical feeling. But it doesn't blend well with the supposedly realistic DC Universe.
Some of the editing in this film is questionable too, there's a scene where a horned man is stealing an Energon Cube (from the Transformers films) away from the Amazonians. Right when he disappears the scene cuts over to a museum. But it done in such an oddly clunky way that it almost looks unnatural. As if an advertisement that just started up in the middle of the scene.
when speaking of the Amazonian fight it looks like something out of the Lord of the Rings movie. That is to say a bad Lord of the Rings movie. Originally I was going to state that this film was ripping off Lord of the Rings at least in some of its fight scenes but it's all CGI. Lord of the Rings use the crap ton of special effects but often times with their battles they had real people all bashing into each other. A lot of those Orcs were hand-painted and only had CGI apply to them. This film is nothing but CGI. And I'm sorry but I just don't find it amusing to watch a CGI movie with subpar live action scenes. Why not just make the entire film CGI and be done with it. At this point movie don't even look any better than video games so it's not that amusing to watch.
And oh my Lord there's a scene where Aquaman kills this bug in mid-air and then proceeds to ride his carcass down the skyline as if he was on a surfboard. I didn't think I'd be reminded of Batman and Robin while watching a modern film but it happened. And I have to admit I was kind of amused by it. I'd rather watch Batman and Robin over this.
That's not to say this movie is worse than BnR, it's certainly not. But Batman and Robin was amusingly bad. It was part of the more unique style. Also they had more practical effects. Say what you will about those plastic icicles but at least they were there.
The amusing:
There's this weird looking bubble that's growing inside of this old Soviet town and it's covered in these weird looking rock formations. And then the rock start turning into crystals. And now all I can think about is that Superman Returns movie where Lex Luthor creates an entire Island out of kryptonite.
The actual summary as best as I remember:
A group of costume idiots have to stop a man with a silly looking horned helmet from stealing some space cubes and conquering the world.
That's really all I can remember about this film. Also didn't help that I didn't watch this film properly I had the red letter media commentary track playing over it.
and God am I happy that I put that commentary on. I'm not entirely sure I would have finished this movie without them. It's just not that interesting maybe if they cut it by half an hour it would be okay.
But now I can say that I've seen a DC Cinematic Universe film and I sure as heck don't want to watch any of the others.
I know It's popular to beat on the ever rotting corpse that is the horse of DC Comics cinematic films. but I also want to make it clear that I don't actually care about these film one way or another. I'm not invested, so you really shouldn't care what I have to say about them. If you like these films than more power to you.
Me, I'd rather stick with the comic these films are supposed to be based on.
Although I have my problems with modern DC Comics as well. For that matter I have problems with the entire industry.
Did you know that the only way comics really make any money is from people who subscribe to them in comic stores.
Oh sure just buying a random comic technically makes them money. But for some weird reason it doesn't count towards that particular item and if a series of comic doesn't have enough subscribers it might get cancelled. The whole systems screwed up right now. Especially if you're somebody like me who doesn't subscribe to Comics. My favourite thing to do is go into a store go to the dollar section or cheap comic section and pick up a bunch of random crap.
So there if you want my true problem with Comics it's not the subpar movies that get made out of their books but the really bad business practise they have for selling said books.
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