Film Summary CCCXL (Beyblade: Fierce Battle)



One of the more embarrassing things in my life is that I have to admit that I used to watch this show.
Not only that, but I watched it regularly and remembered most of the characters names as well.
Oh there was Yu-Gi-Oh, Sailor Moon or cardcaptors and I caught the occasional episode of those but for some stupid reason my little 10 year old mind just wanted to watch the show about spinning tops.

Looking back at it now I can't understand why. The voice acting wasn't very good and the plot of the story was slow and uninteresting. The animation is okay at some points but then really jarring at others, it has its own style but it's not that good.

And then there's this movie which is all of the show but worse. The voice acting is atrocious and the soundtrack, oh dear God the soundtrack. It's the worst garbage music of the late 90s and early 2000s. And to make it even worse they put lyrics of the show into the songs. There's a bunch of rapper singing about spinning tops.
And I'm sorry but the only spending stop song that's any good is the ''I Have a Little Dreidel'' Kid's Song.

It's a lovely summer day and everyone and their grandmother is sitting inside a large Dome watching two kids smash small spinning tops against each other. The protagonist whose name I believe is Tyson (I'm not entirely sure and I'm not going to look it up). Is fighting against some no-name kid that no one cares about.
while they're having their ''battle'' a different kid is running about the city doing what I can only describe as parkour.
He's on his way to this tournament to fight against the protagonist to prove that he's the best, ''spinning top Champion fighter?''
I really don't know what they're supposed to call themselves. I also don't exactly get how powerful these spinning tops are supposed to be. Sometimes the only thing they can do is smack into a different spinning top and knock em off edge. But then another moments you can shoot one of these things at a large wooden beam and it'll smash into it like a cannonball being launched out of a Howitzer.

Oh did I forgot to mention, sometimes magical Gods decide they're going to help out small children and live inside their toys.
Okay here's a question I have. How do these kids control their Little Tops? I mean it's not like the things have any form of sentience, but these kids can tell them what to do as they move around. It make more sense if you said they were controlled by predator drones. That would also make for a more interesting movie.

''Predator drones the fighter from Beyond.''

So to get back to the story there's this little long haired weird kid who wears a pair of jeans with one side cut up to the knee. He challenges the protagonist to a battle.  The two of them ''duke it out.'' Tyson is pretty much guaranteed to win. But then the little kids start screaming like he's in one of those Dragon Ball TV shows and all the sudden his little spinning top gets endowed with the power of black magic. Why'll this is happening a bunch of other kids get infected with some Shadow Demon things and end up turning into a big bunch of villains and they look ridiculous. All I can think of when I see them is that little song ''Send in the clowns, those Laffy Taffy clowns.''

At this point the quality of the film goes dramatically up. It's just the main characters going on vacation to a beach somewhere and the next 20 minutes are actually okay. As the characters just do things and the one annoying short kid keeps harassing Tyson for a rematch. Surprisingly it's limiting on the fan service. The closest thing is "The Chef" dressed in one of those sumo wrestler Speedo thong things. Which admittedly is horrible.

The short kid explains his backstory and why he wants to rematch this Tyson Kid so much to become the champion.
His father was killed a few years earlier and his dying wish was to give his son a spinning top and tell him that he could do anything you wanted with it. Including becoming the champion of Japan. Also this silly kids movie actually has a death in it. So take that subpar to decent Pixar movies with no actual steaks.
Heck later on they'll be a giant tidal wave that'll kill at least a hundred people. The movie doesn't acknowledge any of this either. They're just there as casualties like some form of collateral. But we can't worry about any of them, there are magical monsters that live inside spinning tops to be concerned about.
So the clown kids fight the protagonist kids and the protagonist of course win. They won't learn anything from this experience, the status quo won't change and Rob Ford will still be elected in Ontario!

This movie is cringy to watch. The English acting is crummy, the story itself is bad even in the Japanese version. It's just not that interesting. They spend half the movie fighting with their spinning toys and we get no character development. I think the film might have benefited a lot more if they just took their time and actually had some tension between the weird spiked haired kid and the protagonist Tyson. You didn't give us a reason to give a damn about their rivalry. But none of it really matters because this story is non canonical.

That's right Jesus told Tyson and Max to go to the island of the Anthropophagi and have themselves a gay old time. But the story is not in the Bible, so most people aren't aware of it. Others won't accept the narrative and that's what happened here too. Apparently Tyson and this weird short spiky haired kid have met in the original show. I have to admit I don't really remember, but I'm sure it was more interesting than this.

I'm always baffled at the fandom to this franchise and I would like to sit here and mock them.
I am sitting here in mocking them, the problem is that I'm kind of in this group too. I can't take any of this seriously but I have to admit that I still kind of enjoyed it. Maybe it's a form of really stupid nostalgia.
That is the actual cartoon show, not this movie. This thing's just uninteresting and kind of boring.

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