So we have a Fantastic Four movie that was only created so a company could keep their rights to making Fantastic Four movies in the future.
Sadly it just might be the best adaptation of the Fantastic Four to date. Which sounds kind of weird given that they made this movie before the other ones. But what are you going to do.
This is one of those movies that once you've seen it you should talk about it immediately. Because if you leave it for any amount of time, most of the film is going to drain out of your head.
I watch this film yesterday and I can't be bothered to remember any of it now. There's a piano cue that kept going on and on and on, several times over. They couldn't be bothered to add in more music to this incredibly cheap film.
There was this weird guy who looks like a weird combination of Ebenezer Scrooge Scrooge meets Danny DeVito's the Penguin.
Now he runs this underground gang that wants to steal a silly looking diamond for some reason.
Otherwise there's the basic story. Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom are college-age friends who try to investigate this weird Cloud entity thing. The computer they're using to analyse the data goes Haywire and ends up attacking Victor.
He's been supposedly killed and taken back to his country of Latveria by these incredibly dumb bumbling idiots who I guess work is as type of secret service for him.
years later Reed Richards along with a different close friend of his Ben Graham are running the same experiment only they're going to fun up in a missile to space. So they can directly investigate the phenomenon.
For some reason they also decide to take Reed Richards close friends Sue storm and her brother. (No I don't remember his name I don't care.)
Even the cheesy film can't come up with a good excuse for why these two are on this Mission. We're told that they have a better understanding of Reed Richards work than anyone else. Simply because they're always around him? I don't know about you, but osmosis isn't necessarily the best way to learn theoretical science, physics, biology or whatever form of engineering you need to fly a rocket into space to do stream scientific examinations.
But whatever. We have an excuse to get these four idiots into space and their magical space Diamond was stolen by the moleman. So now the space cloud is going to mutate them all.
Somehow they'll end up back on Earth in the custody of Doctor Doom. Who wants to steal their powers for himself.
We get a little bit of exposition trying to explain how their powers came to be. What their powers are and then we get Ben Graham acting all sad because he's a permanent rock monster and nobody wants to be around him.
He even does the same thing where he runs away from the rest of the group, so he can live on his own. Only to discover that the rest of the world wants nothing to do with him because of the whole Rock problem.
He even ends up with his blind girlfriend at the end of this movie.
Although for some reason she was kidnapped by the mole man?
I have no idea why that plot was in this film. To be honest, I don't really know why the mole-man was here at all. They could have cut his character out of the film and we wouldn't have lost anything on the Fantastic Four front.
Still I'm kind of happy that he's there cuz otherwise this movie would have been ridiculously boring.
There is no energy in the actor who played Reed Richards. He's deadpan for out this entire film. Even when his mortal Essence is being sucked out of his body, he just stares on into the Horizon with the worlds least interesting facial expression. I mean come on!
I get that it's a cheap movie but put a little effort into it. Everybody else on the crew tried.
The guy that's playing Victor Von Doom is really quite fun. He's over-the-top, he's chewing the scenery and he's having fun with it. Which is something that Doctor Doom always has to do because you can never tell his facial expression because of that silly mask.
That's the weird thing about this movie. There was more effort put into it than what this project deserved as it's just being a simple film to maintain franchise rights.
So you end up with this bad film with little glimpses of quality.
I would never recommend to just watch this as a film. However this does make a good party movie. You can put it on the background, nitpick all the silly and weird things that the film with your friends and have a laugh at cheesy one-liners and ridiculously and cheap set design.
Then realise when you're half drunk on vodka tonics that this cheesy uninteresting and kind of bizarre movie is still the best version of the Fantastic Four that exists.
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