Okay, so I picked this movie out of the big old box of random crap.
I think to myself. ''That's a weird looking poster, I expect it will be a bit boring but incredibly cheesy. An off version Mad Max raod warrior.''
But unfortunately we end up with this weird sci-fi / apocalypse film revolving around a guy with no chemistry.
Now I know what you're thinking. Mad Max doesn't have much chemistry. Mad Max is kind of a boring guy.
Yes, he is a boring guy. But everyone around Mad Max is so interesting and unique.
They exert personality at every possible moment.
Rather it be a feral child running around acting like a dog or an over muscular man in a hockey mask commanding a massive chain gang of bikers and delinquents.
It works so well with the mundane and indifferent Max.
A guy who just reacts to it all with neutrality.
This film just can't catch any of that. They want the girl to be the same character, but everyone else in the movies just as boring as she is.
Especially our main lead. He's uninteresting, kind of a klutz, has no unique personality of his own, creepy and worst of all constantly is exploding bits of worry and confusion towards everyone around him.
He's supposed to be the Fish Out of Water character that we get our information from.
And it's handled so badly.
You have to give natural enquiry into the world and better yet, you have to have a reason why we would want to learn about it.
I don't care about this guy's stupid desert world or his crappy robot girlfriend that he wants to save.
Oh sweet proverbial Christ. His stupid robot girlfriend.
so our main character has this robot girlfriend that ends up breaking down because he stupidly tries to have sex with her on his kitchen floor while the sink is running. She gets filled up with water and sort circuits out*.
He wants to get her repaired but it turns out that the particular model is either non-existent or incredibly hard to find.
So this repair guy tells him the only way yo get her back is by acquiring this other robot shell (the Cherry 2000) out of some garbage heap well beyond the boundaries of civilisation.
To do so he has to hire this weird Hunter girl who goes out into this waste dump to find... things.
The rest of the movie seems to be him and her trying to find this weird robot shell as they deal with all the horrible monstrosity of the waste.
Which mainly adds up to a bunch of weirdos trying to kill them for unspecified reasons. None of it makes sense to me because they're still a very active civilised World.
It kind of made sense if you're in Mad Max or even Judge Dredd because the outside world is either all there is or civilisation is so tightly knit and disconnected from anything else that it doesn't even acknowledge the Wasteland.
I'm sorry but this film just doesn't do a good job of personalising the robot girl. It makes the guy seem like he's obsessed with finding a long-forgotten sex toy.
I don't care how badly you want to get bang, you have to get over it man.
You have to go back into the workforce.
Hell you can buy a new girl's body and stick rolled personality into it. I don't see why you have to go find the exact body she had.
Also as far as I'm concerned she's dead.
You killed her with your stupidity.
Move on with your life you creepy dude. It's not like there's a shortage of other people to go date.
Our protagonist is a weird dorky guy to get screwed over by wannabe bounty hunters and who also can't engage with women at a bar because he's been so out of practice from dating because of his obsession with his robot girlfriend.
But then 10 minutes later he'll pull out an automatic assault rifle and start shooting away like John Rambo while being suspended in a car a hundred feet above the ground before falling into a river.
Then immediately go back to being a dorky guy again.
Consistency.
The guy has to be one or the other. Maybe he can be dorky and then become an action hero as the film progresses, showing some form of character development. But otherwise we just have this random guy who seems to be a loser 90% of the times and an action man for the 10 minutes the film demands him to be.
Screw this movie. I wanted to be fair I wanted to be kind. I wanted to like the movie. There's all these weird little set-piece designs and wacky little costumes. They consistently try to keep up their awkward sci-fi motif and don't just evolve to having a guy run around a forest for 20 minutes**.
Somewhere buried in this movie there is a good idea. A fun action romp that could be really engaging if only given the right people to work on it.
This is the film that should be remade today.
Don't remake something that was already good. Take something like this that was kind of crap to begin with and make it better.
*The amount of times this guy is sexually active with this doll I'm surprised she didn't short out from other fluids earlier.
**Although they do spend an awful lot of time in the desert. Which is the secondary location for low income films that can't be bothered to have any real set locations.
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